tIreD

i smile..but i didn't same as before..

i smile but i taste it bitter,

i put some sugar on it (even i know i didn't like it) but it taste bland.

i juz let it be like that, and hoping someone will put a secret ingredients on it to be taste as before..

i open my eyes..i didn't seen what i'm hoping for

i open my eyes but it kill my heart

i take a some medicine but it still dying 

i juz let it be and hoping..hoping..and hoping...

i'm waiting..waiting...and waiting and still waiting...

the truth i miss and need u...

i'm smiling inside i'm dying

i'm smiling inside i'm dying.. <------ that is the best to describe my situation now..
if there is anybody had experience like this before, they will noe how hurt it is..we force ourself to smilie, to be happy, sometimes pretends nothing happen juz to cover-up, but inside we bear a pain.
i need someone to talk, to share with what i felt but it ended to made me more hurt than before.
hmm...i shouldn't do like this to him
i should noe and understand what he doing, but...(i will juz keep it wif me)
but i noe its not his fault at all..everything is coming from me, all the problem coming from me. i'm the one who didn't understand him..
you didn't have to sorry wif me, instead i'm the one should sorry to you
i'm sorry... :'(  
i'm so sorry.. i should realize that i'm not good enough for you..sorry..
i'm sorry my budak besar yang guletz..